Week 23: Biting Off More Than I Can Chew

This is what my face looked like most of the week.

There are times when we all bite off more than we can chew. I’ll be danged if I didn’t (almost) do that for my 23rd week of Five Day Discipline when I decided to eat a crown of broccoli each day. Now, I don’t despise broccoli but I wouldn’t claim to like it either, and certainly not raw. My oldest son eats it raw like candy so I figured I’d give it a try. Why did I choose to eat an entire crown? A, it was an easy way to quantify how much I would eat each day. Two, I’m dumb and D, I grossly underestimated how much a crown of broccoli actually was. Also, I chose to eat it just as it comes out of the ground, without ranch or hummus or anything else. Why? See number two above.

Five Day Discipline: Eat a crown of broccoli each day. An entire crown. Each day. For five days in a row.

  • Day 1: Because I had no idea how long it would take me to eat a crown of broccoli I cut off about a third of it in the morning and took it with me as I left for a day of working with a friend. The other 2/3 I ate when I got home. Specifically, it was my dinner. The rest of the family ate the delicious meal my wife had prepared and I sat there with only broccoli.
  • Day 2: I was home all day so I ate pieces of it throughout the day. Not awful but what I would liken to Chinese water torture. Having to eat florets all day can drive a person mad.
  • Day 3: I decided I would eat the entire crown in one sitting. I think it was actually my favorite day of the week. It was all over in about twenty minutes.
  • Day 4: This is the day my broccoli went bad. It started turning black in places and tasting gnarly. Gnarlier than usual. I ate the bad crown anyway because I didn’t want to go to the store but it was sick.
  • Day 5: I threw away the last crown that was purchased at the beginning of the week (since it was now rotting) and went to the store for a new one. All they had was bagged broccoli so I wasn’t able to get a crown technically but the bag was 12 ounces and a quick in-store Google search told me an average crown was 9 ounces. This was a hard day because my parents came over for dinner and my wife had prepared one of my favorite meals. I ate the meal but then I had to eat 12 ounces of broccoli on a full stomach. Not my favorite day.
Broccoli 5
Thinking back to happier days when I wasn’t having to eat a crown of broccoli

I was pretty thrilled when this week was over. I have been doing Five Day Discipline now for 26 weeks and this week was by far my hardest up to this point. A crown of broccoli was just a lot to take in. I was hoping that I would find raw broccoli tasty by the end of the week but because I decided to consume so much of it it became more about the quantity challenge than anything else. I don’t blame the broccoli for that though, that’s operator error. I should have said something like, “I’m going to eat 5 broccoli florets each day.” Oh well. Live and learn. And remember, Five Day Discipline isn’t supposed to feel like a chore so if it ever feels that way take a look at the things you are choosing from week to week.



P.S. I had no idea that broccoli was supposed to mess with digestion before I did this. Man, the Internet was all about it. That’s all anybody wanted to talk about. You so silly, Internet.

Another P.S. I like that broccoli looks like tiny trees and how holding a crown of broccoli is like holding an entire miniature forest in your hands. That is all.


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